Thanks to the actual black magic / witchcraft that powers airplanes (like honestly I still can’t wrap my f**king head around it) every year over three billion people partake in the unbelievable miracle that is human flight.

We sit down on the plane, buckle up, coast through the air like a big ol’ graceful bin chicken, and suddenly we’re in a completely different country. On the other side of the world. Farrrr outttt M8.

But all magical things come at a price, and in the case of human flight, it’s having to put up with other passengers. Ugh. Other Passengers. Aren’t they the worst? What with their pointy elbows and their unnecessarily bare feet?

And thanks to’s 2018 annual Airplane Etiquette Study, we’re now having a comprehensive and thorough list of the stuff that shits travellers off the most.

Here’s the top ranking nut busters:

The Seat Kicker/Bumper/Grabber

Unsurprisingly at the top of the list, is the bastard who can’t seem to stop wacking the back of your chair. Yes, the Lord blessed him with freakishly long pins and a pair of Shaquille O’Neal sized feet, but must you really be punished for this? It turns out the answer to that question is a strong yes.


The Aromatic Passenger

We’ve all sat next to this guy, you know, the bloke who decided to bring his B.O. as his carry-on. A waft so potent and true, not even your 400ml duty free ‘Joop Go’ can mask it.


The Inattentive Parent

Look, babies cry. It’s what they’re programmed to do at the baby factory. We all know this. And honestly it’s not the crying that bothers people; it’s the parents who don’t seem to be trying to make the screaming stop. I take that back, the crying is heaps shit.

Personal Space Invaders

‘I’m sorry Beverly, but you probably should have booked an extra seat for your bunions’.
There’s really no excuse for this. Keep your bare, calloused feet to yourself or please consider traveling via cargo ship next time. Disgusting.

Other honorable mentions from the survey include loud talkers, chatty Cathy’s, people who pee too much and people who can’t stop farting. What did they miss?

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